"Post-traumatic growth doesn't deny the pain of trauma—it recognises that profound difficulties can catalyse growth that might not have occurred otherwise. Sometimes surviving IS the growth."
What is Post-Traumatic Growth?
Post-traumatic growth (PTG) refers to positive psychological change that emerges from the struggle with highly challenging life circumstances. Developed by psychologists Richard Tedeschi and Lawrence Calhoun, PTG doesn’t deny the pain of trauma—rather, it recognises that profound difficulties can catalyse growth that might not have occurred otherwise.
For survivors of narcissistic abuse, PTG offers hope that the suffering can lead somewhere meaningful.
The Five Domains of PTG
1. Personal Strength
- “I discovered I’m stronger than I thought”
- Increased sense of capability
- Knowing you can survive hard things
- Confidence in facing future challenges
2. New Possibilities
- New paths opened up
- Different direction in life
- New interests and opportunities
- Changed priorities
3. Relating to Others
- Deeper relationships with some people
- Greater compassion for others who suffer
- More meaningful connections
- Knowing who really matters
4. Appreciation of Life
- Changed priorities about what matters
- Greater appreciation for each day
- Not taking things for granted
- Presence and gratitude
5. Spiritual/Existential Change
- Deeper understanding of spiritual matters
- Greater sense of meaning and purpose
- Philosophical changes
- New relationship with uncertainty
PTG vs. “Everything Happens for a Reason”
Important distinctions:
PTG is NOT:
- Saying the trauma was good
- Claiming everything happens for a reason
- Minimising the pain
- Toxic positivity
- Requiring victims to “find the silver lining”
PTG IS:
- Recognising that growth can emerge from struggle
- Not the trauma itself but the wrestling with it
- Optional, not required for healing
- Compatible with ongoing distress
- Individual—not everyone experiences it
PTG After Narcissistic Abuse
Survivors often report:
Personal strength: “I survived something designed to break me.”
Better boundaries: “I now know what I will and won’t accept.”
Deeper relationships: “I can spot genuine people and appreciate them more.”
Changed values: “I know what really matters now.”
Purpose: “I want to help others going through this.”
Self-knowledge: “I understand myself so much better.”
The Relationship Between PTG and Distress
PTG coexists with pain:
- You can experience growth AND ongoing trauma symptoms
- Growth doesn’t mean you’re “over it”
- Some growth domains may develop while others don’t
- Growth can fluctuate over time
- Pain and growth aren’t opposites
Can PTG Be Cultivated?
While PTG can’t be forced, conditions support it:
Deliberate rumination: Constructive processing vs. intrusive rumination.
Social support: Trusted others to process with.
Writing: Narrative processing through journaling.
Therapy: Professional support for meaning-making.
Time: Growth typically emerges over months and years.
Self-compassion: Allows processing without self-attack.
What PTG is Not
Not required: You don’t have to grow from trauma to be healing.
Not linear: Growth can come and go.
Not constant: You can experience growth in some areas, not others.
Not forced: Pressure to find silver linings can be harmful.
Not denial: PTG acknowledges trauma fully.
Cautions About PTG
Don’t pressure yourself: Growth happens or it doesn’t—forcing it backfires.
Maintain reality: Some traumas don’t lead to growth and that’s okay.
Avoid comparison: Others’ growth isn’t your blueprint.
Watch for bypassing: PTG shouldn’t be used to skip grief or anger.
Give it time: Growth emerges from sustained wrestling, not quick reframing.
Research & Statistics
- 50-60% of trauma survivors report experiencing at least one domain of post-traumatic growth (Tedeschi & Calhoun, 2004)
- Studies show personal strength is the most commonly reported area of growth, with 70% of survivors noting increased self-reliance (Linley & Joseph, 2004)
- Research indicates PTG and PTSD symptoms can coexist simultaneously—growth does not require absence of distress (Shakespeare-Finch & Lurie-Beck, 2014)
- Survivors who engage in deliberate rumination (constructive processing) are 3 times more likely to experience PTG than those experiencing only intrusive rumination (Calhoun & Tedeschi, 2006)
- Social support is the strongest predictor of PTG, with supported survivors showing 40% higher growth scores than isolated survivors (Prati & Pietrantoni, 2009)
- PTG is associated with better long-term mental health outcomes, including reduced depression rates 5-10 years post-trauma (Helgeson et al., 2006)
- Writing about trauma for just 15-20 minutes daily significantly increases PTG and reduces healthcare utilization by 43% (Pennebaker, 1997)
For Survivors
You didn’t ask for this experience. You didn’t need this “growth opportunity.” You deserved a life without this trauma.
And yet, here you are. And some survivors find that in the wrestling with what happened, something unexpected emerges—strength, clarity, purpose, depth.
This doesn’t justify what was done. It doesn’t mean you should be grateful for the abuse. It means that humans are remarkable at creating meaning from suffering, at growing even in harsh conditions.
If growth comes, let it. If it doesn’t come yet—or ever—that’s okay too. Your healing doesn’t require you to transform trauma into triumph. Sometimes survival is enough. Sometimes surviving IS the growth.
Frequently Asked Questions
Post-traumatic growth (PTG) is positive psychological change that emerges from struggling with highly challenging circumstances. It doesn't deny the pain of trauma but recognises that profound difficulties can catalyse growth in areas like personal strength, new possibilities, relationships, appreciation of life, and spiritual understanding.
PTG acknowledges trauma fully and recognises that growth comes from wrestling with difficulty—not from the trauma itself. Toxic positivity minimises pain and pressures people to find silver linings. PTG is optional and individual; it doesn't say trauma was good or that you must grow from it.
Yes, many survivors report experiencing personal strength ('I survived something designed to break me'), better boundaries, deeper appreciation for genuine relationships, changed values, purpose in helping others, and greater self-knowledge. Growth doesn't require or justify the abuse.
While PTG can't be forced, it's supported by deliberate (constructive) processing rather than intrusive rumination, trusted others to process with, writing or journaling, therapy for meaning-making, time, and self-compassion. Pressuring yourself to grow from trauma typically backfires.
No. PTG coexists with ongoing pain and trauma symptoms. You can experience growth in some areas while still struggling in others. Growth doesn't mean you're 'over it' or that the trauma didn't affect you deeply. Pain and growth aren't opposites; they can exist simultaneously.
