"The corporation rewards narcissistic traits—charm, confidence, ruthlessness—while remaining blind to the wreckage left in boardrooms and broken careers."— From Chapter 14: Corporate Narcissus, The Suited Predator
When the Narcissist Wears a Suit
Narcissists don’t just appear in romantic relationships and families—they thrive in workplaces. In fact, corporate environments often reward narcissistic traits: confidence, charisma, self-promotion, and willingness to take credit.
If you’ve encountered a narcissist at work—whether as a boss, colleague, or subordinate—you know how destructive they can be to your productivity, career, and mental health.
Why Narcissists Succeed at Work
Understanding why narcissists often rise in organizations helps explain why they’re so prevalent:
They Interview Well
Narcissists are often charming, confident, and skilled at presenting themselves. They ace interviews, telling interviewers exactly what they want to hear.
They Self-Promote
While others wait to be recognized, narcissists actively promote their achievements (real or exaggerated). In organizations that reward visibility, this works.
They Manage Up
Narcissists often treat superiors completely differently than peers or subordinates. They’re charming and deferential to those with power while exploiting those without.
They Take Risks
Without the hesitation that empathy or concern for others creates, narcissists take bold moves that sometimes pay off spectacularly—and when they fail, they blame others.
They Create Impression
They’re masters of appearing competent and in control, even when reality differs. They know how to look like leaders.
Types of Workplace Narcissists
The Narcissistic Boss
Has absolute need for control and admiration from their team. Takes credit for successes, assigns blame for failures. May alternate between charm and rage. Creates high turnover as good employees leave.
The Narcissistic Peer
Competes relentlessly, often through sabotage rather than excellence. Steals credit, spreads rumors, and works to undermine your reputation. May present as friendly while working against you.
The Narcissistic Subordinate
Challenges your authority, goes over your head, and may be working to replace you. Charms those above you while creating problems below.
The Narcissistic Client/Customer
Makes unreasonable demands, devalues your work, and may threaten consequences to control you. Nothing is ever good enough.
Warning Signs at Work
Credit Stealing
They consistently take credit for team or others’ work while escaping blame for failures.
Two-Faced Behavior
Charming to superiors, cruel to peers or subordinates. The elevator test: how do they treat the receptionist vs. the CEO?
Drama Creation
Constant conflict, always positioning themselves as the hero or victim. They thrive on chaos they create.
Reality Distortion
Gaslighting about conversations, decisions, and events. “That’s not what we agreed” when it absolutely was.
Scapegoating
Someone else is always at fault. They identify targets for blame and systematically undermine them.
Excessive Self-Focus
Meetings become about them. Every discussion redirects to their achievements or concerns.
Surviving a Narcissistic Boss
Document Everything
Create paper trails. Follow up verbal conversations with emails: “As we discussed…” Keep records of your own work and contributions.
Communicate in Writing
Prefer email for anything important. Be professional and factual. Create evidence you may need later.
Manage Up Strategically
Understand what they need (admiration, looking good) and provide it strategically. This isn’t being fake—it’s surviving.
Don’t Directly Challenge Them
Public confrontation triggers narcissistic rage and retaliation. If you must push back, do it privately and carefully.
Build Lateral Relationships
Create allies among peers and other leaders. Don’t isolate yourself in the narcissist’s orbit.
Protect Your Achievements
Keep records of your work. Copy yourself on important communications. Don’t assume credit will be given fairly.
Have an Exit Plan
Sometimes the best strategy is leaving. Keep your resume updated, maintain outside relationships, and know your options.
Dealing with Narcissistic Colleagues
Grey Rock at Work
Be boring and unreactive. Don’t give them drama, emotional reactions, or personal information they can use.
Don’t Compete on Their Terms
You won’t win at their game. Focus on your own work and let results speak.
Build Documentation
Keep records of problematic interactions. You may need them for HR or protection.
Create Alliances
Build relationships with others who’ve noticed the behavior. There’s safety and validation in numbers.
Protect Information
Don’t share personal information, strategies, or vulnerabilities that could be used against you.
Should You Go to HR?
Going to HR is a significant decision. Consider:
Do you have documentation? You need specific incidents with dates, times, and ideally witnesses—not just general complaints about personality.
What’s your organization’s culture? Does HR actually address these issues, or do problems get buried?
Is the narcissist politically powerful? If they’re protected or well-connected, HR may be ineffective or even dangerous for you.
Are you prepared for retaliation? Even if HR acts, the narcissist may retaliate. Are you prepared for that possibility?
What outcome do you want? Be clear about what you’re asking for and whether it’s achievable.
When to Leave
Sometimes the answer is exit. Consider leaving when:
- Your mental or physical health is seriously affected
- You’ve exhausted reasonable options
- The organization protects or enables the narcissist
- Your career growth is blocked
- You’re being set up to fail
- The situation isn’t going to change
Leaving isn’t failure—it’s strategic self-preservation. A job isn’t worth your health, and there are other opportunities.
Protecting Your Future
After experiencing a workplace narcissist, take lessons forward:
- Learn to recognize signs earlier
- Understand how organizations can enable narcissism
- Know your worth independent of any one job
- Maintain external professional relationships
- Trust your instincts about toxic dynamics
- Choose your next environment carefully
You deserve a workplace that values your contributions and doesn’t require survival tactics just to function.
Frequently Asked Questions
Workplace narcissists often: take credit for others' work, blame others for failures, charm those above while mistreating those below, sabotage colleagues, need constant admiration, react badly to any criticism, create chaos and drama, have high turnover in their teams, gaslight coworkers, and focus intensely on their image. Pay attention to patterns over time, not isolated incidents.
Document everything in writing. Communicate via email for paper trails. Don't directly challenge them (causes retaliation). Manage up carefully—feed their ego strategically. Build relationships with other leaders. Set quiet boundaries. Don't expect fair treatment. Have an exit plan. Consider HR only if you have strong documentation and realistic expectations.
Narcissistic traits—confidence, charisma, willingness to self-promote, comfort with risk, political savvy—are often rewarded in corporate cultures. They excel at interviewing, self-promotion, and managing up. The damage they cause (high turnover, low morale, ethical violations) often becomes visible only after they've been promoted or moved on.
Proceed carefully. Document specific behaviors with dates and witnesses. Focus on behaviors and business impact, not personality assessments. Know that narcissists are often skilled at manipulating HR. Be prepared for potential retaliation. Consider whether your documentation is strong enough and whether your company culture actually addresses these issues.
Document interactions in writing. Limit personal information sharing. Stay professional and factual. Don't engage in gossip or drama. Build alliances with others. Grey rock when possible. Don't compete for their attention or approval. Be aware they may try to undermine you. Keep your own record of your achievements and contributions.
Consider leaving when: your mental or physical health is suffering, you've exhausted reasonable options, the organizational culture enables the narcissist, your career growth is blocked, you're being scapegoated or set up to fail, or the situation isn't going to change. Don't let loyalty to a job damage your wellbeing permanently.
