Entitlement

What is Narcissistic Entitlement?

Entitlement is one of the core features of narcissism—the belief that one deserves special treatment, privileges, and exemptions that don’t apply to others. Entitled narcissists expect their needs to be prioritised, their wishes to be granted, and their rules to be followed—while they themselves remain exempt from normal expectations.

This isn’t occasional selfishness. It’s a pervasive worldview in which the narcissist genuinely believes they’re more deserving than others.

How Entitlement Manifests

In expectations:

• Others should accommodate their schedule, preferences, and moods
• They deserve immediate attention and service
• Their time is more valuable than yours
• They shouldn’t have to wait, follow rules, or compromise

In relationships:

• Your needs are secondary to theirs
• They deserve your attention, affection, and service
• You should anticipate and meet their needs without being asked
• They’re entitled to your loyalty without earning it

In work/social settings:

• Rules are for other people
• They deserve recognition regardless of contribution
• Special accommodations should be made for them
• Others should defer to their opinions and wishes

Entitlement and Narcissistic Supply

Entitlement drives supply-seeking:

• They’re entitled to your admiration
• They deserve attention and praise
• Others exist to serve their needs
• Your role is to provide supply—that’s what you’re for

When supply isn’t forthcoming, entitlement creates the expectation that it should be, leading to rage or punishment.

Entitlement vs. Healthy Self-Worth

Entitlement	Healthy Self-Worth
”I deserve more than others"	"I deserve respect, as does everyone”
Expectations without contribution	Expectations matched to contribution
Rules don’t apply to me	I can negotiate fairly within normal expectations
Others exist to serve me	We have mutual obligations
Taking without giving	Fair exchange and reciprocity

Where Entitlement Comes From

Entitlement may develop through:

Over-indulgence: Being treated as special without limits or expectations.

Conditional love: Learning that specialness is required for love, creating a need to maintain superiority.

Compensation: Entitlement masking deep feelings of inadequacy or shame.

Modelling: Learning entitlement from narcissistic parents.

Lack of consequences: Never experiencing pushback on unreasonable expectations.

Early success: Genuine early achievement reinforcing a sense of specialness.

Entitlement in Relationships

Partners of entitled narcissists experience:

Constant giving: You’re expected to give while they take.

Your needs ignored: When you have needs, you’re “too demanding” or “selfish.”

One-way accommodation: You adjust for them; they never adjust for you.

Punishment for boundaries: Setting limits is treated as betrayal.

Exhaustion: The one-sided nature of the relationship depletes you.

Confusion: The double standards are disorienting.

Entitlement and Narcissistic Rage

When entitlement is thwarted, rage follows:

• You don’t meet an expectation → rage
• You set a boundary → rage
• You’re unavailable → rage
• You have your own needs → rage
• You don’t prioritise them → rage

The rage isn’t about the specific situation—it’s about the narcissistic injury of not being treated as they believe they deserve.

Recognising Entitlement

Signs of entitlement in others:

• Frequent complaints about not getting what they deserve
• Double standards (expectations for others they don’t meet themselves)
• Treating service workers or “lesser” people poorly
• Impatience with normal wait times or procedures
• Assuming you’ll accommodate without asking
• Minimal gratitude for what others provide
• Taking more than their fair share
• Expecting recognition for basic contributions

Dealing with Entitled Narcissists

Don’t try to meet impossible expectations: You can’t satisfy entitlement.

Set and maintain boundaries: Expect pushback but hold firm.

Don’t explain or justify limits: “No” is a complete sentence.

Refuse guilt: Their disappointment at not getting what they want isn’t your problem.

Accept the relationship may end: They may leave if you won’t serve their entitlement.

Research & Statistics

• Psychological entitlement is the single strongest predictor of narcissistic aggression when expectations are not met (Campbell et al., 2004)
• Studies show entitled individuals show 45% less gratitude for positive outcomes and 60% more blame for negative outcomes than controls
• Research indicates entitlement scores have increased 30% among college students over the past three decades (Twenge & Campbell, 2009)
• Narcissistic rage following thwarted entitlement occurs within seconds to minutes due to automatic narcissistic injury
• Partners of entitled narcissists report spending an average of 70-80% of relationship energy meeting the narcissist’s demands
• Studies show entitled individuals are 3x more likely to exploit others when given the opportunity (Zitek et al., 2010)
• Therapeutic intervention for entitlement shows limited success, with only 20-30% of patients showing meaningful change

For Survivors

Living with entitled narcissists trains you to believe your needs don’t matter and theirs always do. Recovery involves:

• Recognising your needs are equally valid
• Setting expectations for reciprocity
• Allowing relationships to end when they can’t be mutual
• Releasing guilt for having boundaries
• Understanding that their entitlement was about them, not your worth

You were never obligated to fulfill their endless expectations. Their belief that they deserved everything from you was their disorder, not reality.