APA Citation
Jankowiak-Siuda, K., Rymarczyk, K., & Grabowska, A. (2011). How we empathize with others: a neurobiological perspective. *Medical Science Monitor*, 17(1), RA18-RA24. https://doi.org/10.12659/MSM.881324
Summary
Neuroscientists Jankowiak-Siuda and colleagues reviewed the brain mechanisms underlying empathy, distinguishing between cognitive empathy (understanding others' mental states) and affective empathy (sharing others' emotions). They identified the brain networks involved in each type and discussed how these systems interact. This research illuminates why some people can understand others' feelings intellectually without being moved by them—a pattern characteristic of narcissism.
Why This Matters for Survivors
This research explains the empathy deficit at the core of narcissism. Narcissists often have cognitive empathy—they understand what others feel—but lack affective empathy—they don't feel with others. Understanding this neural distinction helps explain why the narcissist could read your emotions to manipulate you but seemed unmoved by your pain.
What This Research Establishes
Empathy has distinct neural components. Cognitive empathy (understanding others’ minds) and affective empathy (feeling with others) involve different brain systems.
These components can dissociate. Someone can have intact cognitive empathy while lacking affective empathy—understanding feelings without sharing them.
Different brain networks are involved. Prefrontal regions support cognitive empathy; insula and cingulate support affective empathy. Damage to different areas affects different components.
This explains certain clinical profiles. Narcissism involves preserved cognitive empathy with impaired affective empathy—understanding without caring.
Why This Matters for Survivors
Understanding the empathy gap. The narcissist understood your emotions—they had to, to manipulate effectively—but wasn’t moved by them. This wasn’t about your failure to communicate.
Why they seemed cold. Affective empathy involves actually feeling others’ distress. Without this, the narcissist could witness your pain unmoved. This is a neural deficit, not just insensitivity.
How manipulation works. Cognitive empathy without affective empathy is a dangerous combination—understanding emotions well enough to exploit them without being constrained by caring about the impact.
It’s not about you. The narcissist’s inability to feel with you reflects their brain, not your worth or your communication skills.
Clinical Implications
Assess empathy components. Distinguish between cognitive and affective empathy when evaluating patients. Narcissistic patients may have intact cognitive empathy.
Don’t assume understanding equals caring. Patients who can articulate others’ feelings may still lack affective empathy. Theory of mind and emotional resonance are different.
Explain to survivors. Help survivors understand that the narcissist’s empathy deficit has neural correlates. They understood but didn’t feel—and this wasn’t the survivor’s fault.
Moderate treatment expectations. Affective empathy deficits may be resistant to change. Be realistic about what treatment can achieve.
How This Research Is Used in the Book
Jankowiak-Siuda and colleagues’ work appears in chapters on empathy:
“Why could the narcissist read your emotions so well yet seem so unmoved by your pain? Jankowiak-Siuda’s neuroscience review explains: empathy has two distinct components supported by different brain systems. Cognitive empathy lets you understand what others feel; affective empathy makes you feel with them. Narcissists typically have the first while lacking the second. They understand your emotions—they have to, to manipulate effectively—but don’t share them. Your pain is information to use, not feeling to respond to. Understanding this brain basis helps explain the chilling disconnect you experienced: they knew exactly what you were feeling, and it didn’t move them. This was their neurology, not your failure to communicate.”
Historical Context
Published in 2011, this review contributed to growing understanding of empathy’s neural basis. The distinction between cognitive and affective empathy has become central to understanding empathy deficits in various conditions including narcissism and psychopathy.
Further Reading
- Decety, J., & Jackson, P.L. (2004). The functional architecture of human empathy. Behavioral and Cognitive Neuroscience Reviews, 3(2), 71-100.
- Shamay-Tsoory, S.G. (2011). The neural bases for empathy. The Neuroscientist, 17(1), 18-24.
- Wai, M., & Tiliopoulos, N. (2012). The affective and cognitive empathic nature of the dark triad of personality. Personality and Individual Differences, 52(7), 794-799.
About the Author
Kamila Jankowiak-Siuda, PhD is a neuroscientist at SWPS University of Social Sciences and Humanities in Poland, researching the neural basis of empathy and social cognition.
Historical Context
Published in 2011, this review synthesized growing research on empathy's neural substrates, contributing to understanding how empathy works in the brain and why some people show empathy deficits.
Frequently Asked Questions
The ability to understand what others think and feel—to take their perspective intellectually. It involves knowing that someone is sad without necessarily feeling sad yourself. Narcissists often retain this capacity.
Actually feeling what others feel—being moved by their emotions. When you see someone in pain and feel distress yourself, that's affective empathy. This is what narcissists typically lack.
Different brain systems underlie each type. Cognitive empathy involves prefrontal regions for reasoning about mental states; affective empathy involves regions for emotional resonance. Narcissists may have intact cognitive systems but impaired affective systems.
Cognitive empathy allows understanding others' emotions without being affected by them. This lets narcissists read your feelings to manipulate you while remaining unmoved by your suffering—they understand but don't feel with you.
This remains uncertain. The neural deficits underlying empathy problems may be difficult to change. Some research suggests limited improvement is possible with certain therapies, but expectations should be modest.
Cognitive empathy involves medial prefrontal cortex and temporoparietal junction; affective empathy involves insula and anterior cingulate cortex. Different networks support different empathy types.
It's more complex than choice. Their brain systems for feeling with others may be impaired. However, having cognitive empathy means they understand what caring would mean—they can fake it when motivated.
Understanding that the narcissist's lack of empathy has neural correlates explains why they seemed unmoved by your pain. They understood your feelings (cognitive empathy) but didn't feel with you (affective empathy). This wasn't your failure to communicate.