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developmental

"Never Learned to Love Properly": A Qualitative Study Exploring Romantic Relationship Experiences in Adult Children of Narcissistic Parents

Lyons, M., Brewer, G., Hartley, A., & Blinkhorn, V. (2023)

Social Sciences, 12(3), 159

APA Citation

Lyons, M., Brewer, G., Hartley, A., & Blinkhorn, V. (2023). "Never Learned to Love Properly": A Qualitative Study Exploring Romantic Relationship Experiences in Adult Children of Narcissistic Parents. *Social Sciences*, 12(3), 159. https://doi.org/10.3390/socsci12030159

Summary

This qualitative study directly examined how growing up with narcissistic parents affects adult romantic relationships. Participants described chronic low self-esteem, hypervigilance, people-pleasing patterns, difficulty identifying their own needs, and vulnerability to choosing narcissistic partners themselves. Many reported feeling they "never learned to love properly"—their childhood provided no model for healthy relationships. A particularly striking finding: participants reported feeling more anxious about sharing successes than failures, having learned that success triggered parental cruelty. This inverted dynamic makes sense when achievement historically provoked punishment.

Why This Matters for Survivors

If you grew up with a narcissistic parent and struggle in romantic relationships—choosing unavailable partners, tolerating mistreatment, losing yourself in relationships, or avoiding intimacy entirely—this research validates your experience as the predictable outcome of your upbringing. You didn't fail to "learn to love properly" through some personal defect; you were never taught. The patterns you struggle with—hypervigilance, people-pleasing, difficulty knowing what you want—are adaptations that made sense in childhood. Understanding this shifts the question from "what's wrong with me?" to "how do I learn what I was never taught?"

What This Research Found

“Never learned to love properly.” Participants consistently described lacking basic relationship knowledge that others seemed to possess naturally. Their childhood model of “love” was conditional, exploitative, and parent-focused. Without exposure to healthy love, they didn’t know what to seek or create in adult relationships.

Success feels more dangerous than failure. A striking finding: participants reported more anxiety about sharing achievements than admitting failures. In narcissistic families, children’s success threatens the parent, triggering devaluation or sabotage. This inverted pattern persists into adulthood—celebrating good news feels risky.

Identifiable pattern of relationship difficulties. The study documented:

  • Chronic low self-esteem affecting partner choice
  • Hypervigilance (constant scanning for partner displeasure)
  • People-pleasing at expense of own needs
  • Difficulty identifying what they actually want
  • Vulnerability to choosing narcissistic partners
  • Attachment disruption affecting intimacy capacity

“Double lives” as protective adaptation. Some participants described maintaining separate selves: a successful external self hidden from the narcissistic parent, and a diminished self presented at home. This protected against parental envy but created integration difficulties in adulthood.

Why This Matters for Survivors

Your relationship struggles have identifiable causes. If you’ve wondered why you keep choosing unavailable partners, lose yourself in relationships, tolerate mistreatment, or can’t seem to relax into intimacy—this research identifies these patterns as predictable outcomes of narcissistic parenting. You’re not uniquely broken; you’re experiencing documented effects of a documented cause.

You weren’t taught what others learned. Children in healthy families learn about love through experiencing it—consistent care, celebrated achievements, respected boundaries, modeled relationships. You didn’t get this education. The “basic relationship skills” that seem to come naturally to others aren’t natural—they’re learned. You can learn them now, though the learning is harder in adulthood.

Your adaptations made sense. The hypervigilance, the people-pleasing, the achievement-hiding—these aren’t character flaws but survival strategies that worked in childhood. The problem isn’t that you developed them; it’s that they persist in contexts where they’re no longer needed and actively harmful.

Vulnerability to narcissistic partners isn’t stupidity. If you’ve repeatedly found yourself with partners who replicate your parent’s patterns, understand why: the dynamics feel familiar, the red flags look like normal, and your learned patterns (people-pleasing, self-abandonment) mesh with narcissistic partners’ needs. Recognizing this pattern is the first step to changing it.

Clinical Implications

Validate the specific narcissistic parenting experience. Adult children of narcissists often haven’t had their experience recognized—even by previous therapists. Explicit acknowledgment that narcissistic parenting creates specific, documented patterns supports therapeutic alliance and reduces isolation.

Address attachment before behavioral change. The relationship patterns identified emerge from attachment wounds. Teaching “communication skills” without addressing underlying attachment disruption is unlikely to produce lasting change. Attachment-informed treatment addresses the roots, not just the symptoms.

Help patients identify their own needs. A core deficit from narcissistic parenting is difficulty knowing what you want—your needs were irrelevant or dangerous in childhood. Therapy should actively support developing this capacity, not assume it exists.

Educate about pattern recognition. Patients may not recognize that their relationship patterns connect to childhood experience. Psychoeducation about how narcissistic parenting affects adult relationships can be illuminating and motivating.

Build capacity for healthy relationships. Since patients may never have experienced healthy love, therapy and other relationships can provide first exposure and practice. This goes beyond insight to actual relational learning.

How This Research Is Used in the Book

Lyons’ research appears in Chapter 8: Behavioral Manifestations to explain why children of narcissists hide achievements:

“Some children of narcissistic parents develop ‘double lives’: a successful external self hidden from the parent with a diminished self presented at home… Many report feeling more anxious throughout their lives about sharing successes than failures—an inverted dynamic that makes developmental sense when success historically triggered cruelty.”

It also appears in Chapter 20: A Field Guide documenting long-term effects:

“Long-term effects: chronic low self-esteem, hypervigilance, people-pleasing, difficulty identifying your own needs, attachment disruption, vulnerability to narcissistic partners.”

Historical Context

Published in 2023, this study reflects growing research attention to adult children of narcissistic parents. While clinicians had long recognized this population’s struggles, systematic research was limited. This qualitative study allowed participants to describe their experiences in their own words, revealing patterns that aligned with clinical observations while adding nuance and detail.

The finding about achievement anxiety is particularly notable—it captures an experience many adult children of narcissists recognize but may not have articulated or understood. The research validates experiential knowledge while providing empirical documentation useful for clinical and educational purposes.

Further Reading

  • McBride, K. (2008). Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers. Atria Books.
  • Gibson, L.C. (2015). Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents. New Harbinger Publications.
  • Payson, E.D. (2002). The Wizard of Oz and Other Narcissists: Coping with the One-Way Relationship in Work, Love, and Family. Julian Day Publications.
  • Brown, N.W. (2008). Children of the Self-Absorbed: A Grown-Up’s Guide to Getting Over Narcissistic Parents. New Harbinger Publications.
  • Durvasula, R. (2019). “Don’t You Know Who I Am?”: How to Stay Sane in an Era of Narcissism, Entitlement, and Incivility. Post Hill Press.

About the Author

Minna Lyons, PhD is a senior lecturer in psychology at the University of Liverpool. Her research focuses on individual differences, including the Dark Triad traits, and their expression in relationships and social behavior.

This study is part of growing research specifically examining the experiences of adult children of narcissistic parents—a population whose struggles had been clinically recognized but understudied empirically. The qualitative methodology allowed participants to describe their experiences in their own words, revealing patterns that quantitative research might miss.

Historical Context

Published in 2023, this study reflects increasing research attention to adult children of narcissistic parents as a distinct population. While clinical literature had long recognized the impact of narcissistic parenting, systematic research specifically examining romantic relationship outcomes had been limited. This study contributes to an evidence base for what clinicians had observed: that narcissistic parenting creates specific, identifiable patterns in adult relationships.

Frequently Asked Questions

Cited in Chapters

Chapter 8 Chapter 20

Related Terms

Glossary

clinical

Attachment Trauma

Trauma that occurs within attachment relationships—particularly when caregivers who should provide safety are instead sources of fear, neglect, or abuse. Attachment trauma disrupts the fundamental capacity for trust, connection, and emotional regulation.

clinical

Codependency

A relational pattern characterised by excessive emotional reliance on another person, often at the expense of one's own needs, identity, and wellbeing.

recovery

Earned Secure Attachment

A secure attachment style developed through healing work and healthy relationships in adulthood, rather than being formed in childhood. It demonstrates that insecure attachment patterns can be changed.

family

Family Roles

Rigid, dysfunctional roles that children adopt in narcissistic or dysfunctional families to survive. Common roles include the golden child, scapegoat, lost child, mascot, and caretaker. These roles protect the child but limit authentic development and persist into adulthood.

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