"A narcissist weaponizes everything you tell them. Your joys become targets for sabotage. Your fears become tools for manipulation. Your plans become things to undermine. An information diet doesn't mean lying—it means recognizing that this person has lost the privilege of access to your inner life."
What Is an Information Diet?
An information diet is a deliberate strategy of limiting the personal information you share with a narcissist. Just as a food diet restricts what you eat, an information diet restricts what you reveal about your life, feelings, plans, and vulnerabilities.
This strategy recognizes:
- Narcissists weaponize personal information
- Openness with unsafe people is self-harmful
- Privacy is a right, not dishonesty
- You control what you share
Why Narcissists Need an Information Diet
How They Weaponize Information
Your Vulnerabilities
- Used to hurt you precisely
- Thrown back during arguments
- Shared with others to humiliate
- Leveraged for control
Your Joys
- Targeted for sabotage
- Minimized or criticized
- Made about them
- Ruined or competed with
Your Plans
- Undermined or sabotaged
- Stolen or claimed
- Criticized before attempted
- Used to create obstacles
Your Relationships
- Triangulated against you
- Poisoned with lies
- Used to isolate you
- Exploited for flying monkeys
Your Fears
- Used to manipulate
- Exploited in conflicts
- Weaponized to control
- Threatened or activated
The Damage of Openness with Narcissists
When you’re open with someone who abuses your trust:
- Everything becomes ammunition
- Nothing is safe
- Intimacy becomes dangerous
- You become predictable to them
- They know exactly how to hurt you
What to Put on the Information Diet
High-Priority Restrictions
Emotions and Inner Life
- How you’re really feeling
- Your fears and anxieties
- What makes you happy
- Your dreams and hopes
- What hurts you
Future Plans
- Career plans
- Moving plans
- Relationship developments
- Goals you’re working toward
- Things you’re excited about
Relationship Details
- New friendships
- Dating life
- Support network details
- What others say about the narcissist
- Who you confide in
Financial Information
- Income changes
- Purchases or plans
- Debts or struggles
- Windfalls or successes
- Financial decisions
Health Information
- Medical issues
- Mental health treatment
- Therapy progress
- Health vulnerabilities
- Medications
What You Can Share
Keep it:
- Factual and superficial
- About logistics only
- Already public information
- Boring and mundane
- Nothing they can use
Implementing an Information Diet
Step 1: Identify Weaponized Information
Reflect on:
- What have they used against you before?
- What topics lead to conflict?
- What do they seem most interested in?
- What have they sabotaged?
- What do they use to hurt you?
Step 2: Decide What to Restrict
Create categories:
- Never share
- Minimize sharing
- Safe to mention briefly
- Okay to share
Step 3: Prepare Deflecting Responses
For Direct Questions
“How are you really doing?”
- “Fine, thanks.”
- “Same as usual.”
- “Getting by.”
“What’s new with you?”
- “Not much.”
- “Just the usual.”
- “Nothing exciting.”
“Are you seeing anyone?”
- “I’m focused on other things.”
- “That’s not really up for discussion.”
- [Change subject]
“How’s work going?”
- “It’s work.”
- “Fine.”
- “You know, the usual.”
Step 4: Practice Subject Changes
Have pivot topics ready:
- “Anyway, about [logistics topic]…”
- “Speaking of which, we need to discuss [child/practical matter]…”
- “That reminds me—did you [boring practical question]?”
Step 5: Get Comfortable with Short Answers
You don’t owe elaboration:
- One-word answers are fine
- Silence is acceptable
- “I don’t want to discuss that” is complete
- You don’t need to fill pauses
Common Challenges
They Push for More
They may:
- Keep asking questions
- Express hurt at your distance
- Accuse you of hiding things
- Try to guilt more information out
Your response:
- Stay consistent
- Don’t explain why you’re private
- Accept their discomfort
- Maintain the boundary
You Feel Guilty
You might think:
- “This feels dishonest”
- “I should be more open”
- “Maybe I’m being paranoid”
- “They seem genuinely interested”
Remember:
- Privacy isn’t dishonesty
- They’ve proven untrustworthy
- Your protection matters
- Feeling bad doesn’t mean doing wrong
Old Habits Die Hard
You’re used to sharing with them. You might:
- Slip and share automatically
- Feel strange being reserved
- Miss the intimacy (however false)
- Want to connect normally
This takes practice. Be patient with yourself.
They Already Know Everything
If they know your life:
- Stop adding new information
- What they know is enough
- Focus on future privacy
- Accept you can’t undo the past
Information Diet vs. Grey Rock
| Information Diet | Grey Rock |
|---|---|
| WHAT you share | HOW you communicate |
| Content restriction | Style restriction |
| Limiting topics | Limiting emotion/interest |
| Protecting information | Reducing supply |
These strategies complement each other:
- Use grey rock delivery
- With information diet content
- Together they’re powerful
- Both serve protection
For Different Relationships
Co-Parenting
- Share only child-related information
- Keep new relationships private
- Don’t discuss feelings about them
- Logistics only, nothing personal
Family Members
- Surface-level updates only
- Redirect to asking about them
- Keep successes and struggles private
- Share after, not before events
Workplace
- Minimal personal disclosure
- Professional topics only
- Don’t explain personal choices
- Keep work-life separation strict
Building New Habits
With Safe People
- Practice being open with trustworthy people
- Rebuild intimacy where it’s deserved
- Notice the difference in how it feels
- Let safety and openness reconnect
With the Narcissist
- Practice staying surface
- Notice when you want to share and pause
- Develop the habit of privacy
- Celebrate successful boundary-keeping
For Survivors
If you’re implementing an information diet:
- You’re not being dishonest—you’re being protective
- Privacy is a right, not a privilege they grant
- They lost access to your inner life through misuse
- This is self-preservation, not punishment
You probably grew up being told that good people are open and honest, that privacy is secretive and bad. But sharing your inner life is a gift you give to safe people—not an obligation owed to everyone. When someone has shown they’ll use your openness against you, withdrawing that access isn’t dishonest. It’s wise.
You’re not hiding. You’re protecting. There’s a profound difference. The information diet isn’t about what they deserve—it’s about what you need to stay safe. Give yourself permission to be private with those who have proven they can’t be trusted with your truth.
Frequently Asked Questions
An information diet is deliberately limiting what personal information you share with a narcissist. Like a food diet restricts certain foods, an info diet restricts access to your thoughts, feelings, plans, and private life. It's a protective boundary for when no contact isn't possible.
Narcissists weaponize information—using your vulnerabilities to hurt you, your plans to sabotage you, your joys to target, and your relationships to triangulate. Limiting information limits ammunition. It's not about being dishonest; it's about protecting yourself from someone who misuses your openness.
Consider restricting: your emotions and feelings, future plans and goals, relationship details, financial information, medical information, work challenges or successes, social life and friendships, anything that could be used against you or that they could sabotage.
Grey rock is about being boring and uninteresting to avoid narcissistic supply reactions. Information diet specifically focuses on limiting what personal details you share. They work together—grey rock is HOW you communicate, information diet is WHAT you communicate.
No. Privacy isn't dishonesty. You're under no obligation to share your inner life with someone who has demonstrated they'll use it against you. Not volunteering information is different from lying. Protecting yourself from misuse isn't deception—it's wisdom.
Start by: identifying what they typically use against you, deciding what to stop sharing, preparing deflecting responses, practicing changing the subject, getting comfortable with short answers, and accepting their frustration without caving.
