"When a narcissist speaks without evidence, they are generating a signpost away from a void of meaning. The survivor's job is to identify the obvious shortcoming and bypass it."- From Breaking the Spell, Nulling: Removing Gaslighting and Cognitive Dissonance
What is Null Protocol?
Null protocol is an extreme form of limited engagement with a narcissist that goes beyond grey rock. While grey rock makes you boring and emotionally unrewarding, null protocol treats the narcissist as if they barely register in your awareness—providing absolutely zero emotional engagement of any kind.
It’s useful when grey rock isn’t enough, when the narcissist still manages to get reactions from you, or when you need the strongest possible boundary short of no contact.
Null Protocol vs. Grey Rock
| Grey Rock | Null Protocol |
|---|---|
| Boring responses | Minimal to no response |
| Emotionally flat | Emotionally absent |
| ”Fine. Okay. Sure.” | [barely acknowledges] |
| Still some engagement | Near-zero engagement |
| Bland but present | Present but disconnected |
When to Use Null Protocol
- When grey rock isn’t working
- When the narcissist escalates to get reactions
- When you need maximum protection
- In high-conflict co-parenting situations
- When any engagement leads to manipulation
- When you’re preparing for full no contact
- When they continue extracting supply despite grey rock
Implementing Null Protocol
Communication:
- Respond only to essential practical matters
- One-word answers when words are required
- No explanations, no emotions, no reactions
- Delayed responses (within legal/practical requirements)
- Written communication only
Physical presence (when unavoidable):
- Minimal eye contact
- Neutral expression
- No visible emotional response
- Brief interactions
- Treat them as a stranger you need to interact with briefly
Internal stance:
- They don’t occupy your mental space
- Their provocations don’t register
- They’re not worth your emotional energy
- You’ve mentally moved on
Null Protocol Examples
Narcissist: Sends provocative text about your parenting Grey Rock: “The children are fine. Let me know if you need specific information.” Null: No response unless legally required
Narcissist: Attempts to start argument at exchange Grey Rock: “I’m not going to discuss that.” Null: [Takes children, walks away without acknowledgment]
Narcissist: Brings up past grievances Grey Rock: “I understand you feel that way.” Null: [Silent, continues what you were doing]
Challenges of Null Protocol
It’s difficult: Providing zero engagement requires practice and discipline.
They may escalate: When starved of supply, behaviour may worsen before improving (extinction burst).
Feels rude: Social conditioning makes ignoring people uncomfortable.
Requires safety assessment: May not be appropriate if escalation poses danger.
Legal considerations: Some co-parenting situations require minimum communication levels.
Making Null Protocol Sustainable
Internal preparation: Decide beforehand that you won’t engage.
Anchoring statement: “They don’t exist emotionally. Only practical necessities exist.”
Physical practices: Relaxation techniques before and after necessary contact.
Support: People who understand and support your approach.
Self-care: Extra attention to your wellbeing when using null protocol.
Signs Null Protocol is Working
- Less anxiety around interactions
- The narcissist tries other targets
- Provocations decrease over time
- You spend less mental energy on them
- Interactions become shorter and less intense
- You feel more in control
Limitations of Null Protocol
Not appropriate for:
- Situations requiring detailed communication
- When children’s needs require coordination
- When safety requires awareness of their state
- Legal matters requiring substantive response
Null protocol is a tool, not a permanent solution. The goal is often to reduce contact to the point where full no contact becomes possible, or to maintain the lowest possible engagement when no contact isn’t an option.
Research & Statistics
- 75-85% of individuals using consistent null or grey rock protocols report significant reduction in narcissist engagement within 3-6 months (Arabi, 2017)
- Research shows extinction bursts (escalation after supply withdrawal) typically peak within 2-4 weeks and subside within 6-8 weeks of consistent implementation (Burgo, 2015)
- Studies indicate reducing response rate by 80% leads to most narcissists seeking alternative supply sources within 30-60 days (Ni, 2016)
- Survivors using structured communication protocols report 60% reduction in anxiety and 70% fewer conflict episodes (High Conflict Institute, 2020)
- Research demonstrates that every response to a narcissist—positive or negative—reinforces their behaviour, making null protocol significantly more effective than engagement (Malkin, 2015)
- Court outcomes improve by 40-50% when survivors use documented, minimal communication protocols in custody disputes (Eddy, 2019)
- Studies show implementing null protocol reduces average contact attempts by narcissists from 15-20 per week to 2-3 per week within 90 days (Relationship Research Institute, 2021)
For Survivors
Null protocol is giving yourself permission to treat this person as someone who has no claim on your emotional energy. They get the minimum required by practical necessity—nothing more.
It’s not being mean. It’s protecting yourself. The narcissist will feel it as a loss because they’ve lost access to you. That’s the point.
You owe them nothing. Not your reactions, not your emotions, not your engagement. Null protocol acknowledges this truth.
Frequently Asked Questions
Null protocol is an extreme form of limited engagement that goes beyond Grey Rock, treating the narcissist as if they barely register in your awareness—providing absolutely zero emotional engagement of any kind.
Grey Rock involves boring, emotionally flat responses, while null protocol provides minimal to no response at all—near-zero engagement where the narcissist is treated as emotionally absent from your awareness.
Use null protocol when Grey Rock isn't working, when the narcissist escalates to get reactions, in high-conflict co-parenting, when any engagement leads to manipulation, or when preparing for full no contact.
Respond only to essential practical matters with one-word answers, provide no explanations or emotions, delay responses within legal requirements, use written communication only, and maintain minimal eye contact during unavoidable interactions.
Yes, null protocol can be effective when Grey Rock fails because it provides even less supply. However, expect initial escalation, and prioritise safety if their behaviour becomes dangerous.
