Trauma Response

What is a Trauma Response?

A trauma response is an automatic, survival-driven reaction that occurs when the brain perceives threat. These aren’t conscious choices but neurobiological programs that evolved over millions of years to protect us from danger.

When the amygdala (the brain’s threat detector) identifies danger, it triggers a cascade of physiological and behavioral responses without waiting for conscious thought. The body prepares for survival—and you may not have any say in which response activates.

The Four Main Responses

Fight

Aggression, confrontation, standing ground:

• Anger, rage
• Physical tension, readiness for action
• Verbal aggression
• Defending, protecting
• Pushing back against threat

Fight activates when the brain calculates that confronting the threat is the best survival strategy.

Flight

Escape, avoidance, running away:

• Urge to flee
• Restlessness, agitation
• Avoiding situations, people, feelings
• Busy-ness (staying ahead of feelings)
• Physical and emotional withdrawal

Flight activates when escape seems like the best option.

Freeze

Immobility, shutdown, dissociation:

• Unable to move or speak
• Numbness
• Dissociation (feeling unreal, detached)
• Collapsed, playing dead
• Shutdown of systems
• Feeling stuck

Freeze activates when fight and flight aren’t possible—when playing dead or being invisible is safest.

Fawn

Appeasing, people-pleasing, compliance:

• Trying to please the threat
• Agreeing, complying
• Anticipating needs
• Avoiding conflict at all costs
• Abandoning self to manage others’ reactions
• Becoming what others want

Fawn activates when managing the threatening person’s emotions is the best survival strategy—common in abuse where the abuser must be kept calm.

How Responses Are Selected

Not a Choice

Your brain selects the response automatically based on:

• What’s most likely to work
• Past experience
• The nature of the threat
• Available options
• Split-second calculation

You don’t choose—your survival brain chooses for you.

Context Dependent

Different situations may trigger different responses:

• Fight with strangers, fawn with family
• Freeze when surprised, flight when given warning
• Depends on what worked before in similar situations

One May Dominate

Often one response becomes dominant:

• Freeze if fighting/fleeing never worked
• Fawn if appeasement kept you safest
• This becomes your “default”

Trauma Responses in Abuse Survivors

Why Freeze and Fawn Are Common

In narcissistic abuse:

• Fighting often wasn’t safe (power imbalance)
• Fleeing often wasn’t possible (dependence)
• Freezing/fawning were adaptive
• These become conditioned responses

The Shame of Freeze

Many survivors shame themselves for freezing:

• “Why didn’t I fight back?”
• “Why didn’t I leave?”
• “Why did I just stand there?”

This reflects misunderstanding. Freeze was your nervous system’s survival calculation—it kept you alive.

The Fawn Response in Abuse

Fawn is especially common in chronic abuse:

• Learning to read the abuser
• Anticipating their needs
• Becoming what they want
• Appeasing to avoid harm
• Losing yourself in the process

Ongoing Trauma Responses

Conditioned Responses

Trauma responses can become conditioned:

• Triggered by cues associated with original trauma
• Activated by things that “feel like” the threat
• Operating even when actual danger isn’t present
• The body responds as if past = present

Chronic Activation

In complex trauma, responses may be constantly on:

• Always fawning
• Perpetual freeze (dissociation, numbness)
• Constant hypervigilance (flight-ready)
• Living in survival mode

Mismatched Responses

Sometimes responses seem disproportionate:

• Minor conflict triggers collapse
• Small criticism triggers rage
• Safe situation triggers flight

This isn’t irrational—it’s a nervous system conditioned by trauma.

Recognizing Trauma Responses

In the Moment

Signs you’re in a trauma response:

• Feeling out of control
• Automatic reactions
• Body sensations (racing heart, numbness)
• Not thinking clearly
• Later wondering “why did I do that?”

Patterns

Over time, notice:

• What situations trigger responses?
• Which response is your default?
• What cues activate you?
• How do responses show up in your body?

Managing Trauma Responses

In the Moment

• Recognize: “I’m having a trauma response”
• Ground: Feel your feet, look around
• Breathe: Slow, deep breaths (longer exhale)
• Orient: Name where you are, the date, that you’re safe
• Self-compassion: “My nervous system is trying to protect me”

Building Capacity

• Understand your responses: Knowledge reduces shame
• Know your triggers: Awareness helps
• Develop tools: Grounding, breathing, self-talk
• Therapy: Process the underlying trauma
• Gradually expand capacity: Build tolerance

Body-Based Work

Since responses are bodily:

• Somatic therapies
• Yoga
• Movement practices
• Nervous system regulation work

For Survivors

If you respond with freeze, fawn, or any trauma response:

• These responses aren’t weakness or failure
• They’re your nervous system doing what it evolved to do
• They kept you alive
• They can be understood and gradually modified
• There is no shame in survival

The survivor who froze—you survived. The survivor who fawned—you survived. Your nervous system did its job. Now, in safety, you can help it learn that the threat has passed and gradually build a wider range of responses. But never shame yourself for how your body kept you alive.