Window of Tolerance

What is the Window of Tolerance?

The window of tolerance, a concept developed by Dan Siegel, describes the optimal zone of nervous system arousal in which a person can function effectively—thinking clearly, managing emotions, relating to others, and responding adaptively to stress.

When we’re within our window, we can experience and integrate emotions without being overwhelmed. Outside the window—either in hyperarousal (too activated) or hypoarousal (too shut down)—our capacity to function is impaired.

The Three Zones

Within the Window (Optimal Arousal)

• Calm but alert
• Able to think and feel simultaneously
• Can process information effectively
• Social engagement system online
• Able to respond flexibly
• Feeling present and grounded

Above the Window (Hyperarousal)

• Anxiety, panic, rage
• Racing thoughts
• Hypervigilance
• Difficulty thinking clearly
• Emotional flooding
• Fight or flight activation
• Agitation and restlessness

Below the Window (Hypoarousal)

• Numbness, emptiness
• Depression, despair
• Dissociation, shutdown
• Feeling flat or dead inside
• Difficulty moving or responding
• Freeze or collapse response
• Disconnection from body and emotions

How Trauma Narrows the Window

Chronic trauma, including narcissistic abuse, narrows the window of tolerance:

Sensitised alarm system: The threat detection system becomes hair-trigger.

Chronic dysregulation: Staying in hyperarousal or hypoarousal becomes normal.

Reduced bandwidth: Less capacity for normal emotional variation.

Quick escalation: Small triggers push you outside the window.

Less flexibility: Harder to recover and return to optimal arousal.

Smaller range: What you can tolerate without dysregulation shrinks.

Window of Tolerance in Narcissistic Abuse Survivors

Survivors often experience:

Chronically narrowed window: Living in threat state kept arousal high or triggered shutdown.

Rapid oscillation: Quickly moving from hyperarousal to hypoarousal.

Triggers everywhere: Many things push outside the window.

Difficulty staying present: Optimal arousal feels unfamiliar.

Exhaustion: Constant dysregulation depletes resources.

Expanding the Window of Tolerance

Recovery involves widening the window:

Establishing safety: The foundation for all expansion.

Grounding skills: Tools to return to the window when outside it.

Gradual exposure: Slowly increasing capacity to tolerate activation.

Somatic practices: Body-based work that builds regulation capacity.

Therapy: Processing trauma reduces trigger intensity.

Co-regulation: Safe relationships help regulate the nervous system.

Mindfulness: Builds capacity to observe without reacting.

Self-compassion: Reduces shame that exacerbates dysregulation.

Recognising Where You Are

Signs you’re in hyperarousal:

• Racing heart, rapid breathing
• Tension, agitation, restlessness
• Can’t calm down
• Thoughts spinning
• Intense emotions

Signs you’re in hypoarousal:

• Feeling numb or flat
• Difficulty moving or responding
• Feeling foggy or disconnected
• Flat affect
• Collapse or shutdown

Signs you’re in the window:

• Present and grounded
• Able to think and feel
• Responsive but not reactive
• Social engagement available
• Flexibility in response

Returning to the Window

From hyperarousal:

• Slow, deep breathing
• Grounding (feet on floor, cold water)
• Movement to discharge energy
• Orienting to safety cues
• Self-soothing talk

From hypoarousal:

• Physical movement
• Strong sensory input (cold, strong taste)
• Social connection
• Stamping feet, clapping hands
• Anything activating

The Goal of Window Work

The goal isn’t to never leave the window—that’s impossible. Life includes stress and intensity. The goals are:

Wider window: More capacity to experience without dysregulation.

Quicker return: Faster recovery when pushed outside.

Better awareness: Noticing when you’re leaving the window.

More tools: Having strategies to return.

Gentler response: Less shame about leaving the window.

Research & Statistics

• Research shows that chronic trauma can narrow the window of tolerance by up to 70%, leaving survivors with minimal capacity for stress before dysregulation (Ogden et al., 2006)
• Studies indicate that 80% of Complex PTSD survivors experience daily oscillations between hyperarousal and hypoarousal states (Cloitre et al., 2009)
• Somatic therapies expand the window of tolerance by approximately 40% over 12-week treatment periods, as measured by heart rate variability (Price & Hooven, 2018)
• Brain imaging research shows that trauma survivors have amygdala reactivity 2-3 times higher than non-traumatised individuals, contributing to rapid dysregulation (Rauch et al., 2006)
• Mindfulness practice increases window of tolerance capacity by 25-35% after 8 weeks of regular practice, even without formal trauma therapy (Kearney et al., 2012)
• Research demonstrates that co-regulation with a safe other can return a dysregulated person to their window of tolerance 50% faster than self-regulation alone (Porges, 2011)
• Studies show that polyvagal-informed therapy helps approximately 65% of trauma survivors expand their window of tolerance within 6 months (Dana, 2018)

For Survivors

Your narrow window of tolerance isn’t weakness—it’s evidence of what you survived. Your nervous system adapted to chronic threat, and that adaptation kept you alive.

Now, in safety, you can gently expand what your system can tolerate. It’s like physical therapy after an injury—gradual, patient work that rebuilds capacity over time.

Every time you successfully return to your window, you’re teaching your nervous system that it can regulate. Every small expansion is progress. The window can widen again.