APA Citation
Brummelman, E., Thomaes, S., Nelemans, S., Orobio de Castro, B., Overbeek, G., & Bushman, B. (2015). Origins of narcissism in children. *Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences*, 112(12), 3659-3662. https://doi.org/10.1073/pnas.1420870112
Summary
This landmark longitudinal study resolved a long-standing debate about narcissism's origins by tracking 565 children and their parents over 18 months. The findings were clear: parental overvaluation—not lack of warmth—predicted the development of narcissistic traits in children. Parents who believed their child was more special and entitled than others, who overestimated their child's abilities, and who claimed their child deserved special treatment raised more narcissistic children. In contrast, parental warmth predicted self-esteem without producing narcissism. The study suggests narcissism develops not from emotional neglect but from parents communicating that their child is superior to others.
Why This Matters for Survivors
This research challenges the intuitive assumption that narcissists were neglected children who developed grandiosity to compensate for missing love. Instead, some narcissists may have been told too consistently that they were special, superior, and entitled to more than others. If you're a parent, this research suggests focusing on warmth and acceptance rather than inflating your child's sense of superiority. If you're trying to understand a narcissist in your life, consider that their grandiosity may have been installed by parents who genuinely believed (and communicated) that their child was exceptional.
What This Research Found
Overvaluation predicts narcissism. Parents who believed their child was more special than other children and deserved more raised children with higher narcissism. The effect was significant and consistent across time points.
Warmth predicts self-esteem, not narcissism. Parental warmth—unconditional positive regard—predicted healthy self-esteem but not narcissism. Warmth and overvaluation are distinct: one produces feeling good about yourself; the other produces feeling superior to others.
Social learning over compensation. The findings support social learning theory: children learn they’re special because parents tell them so. The psychoanalytic hypothesis—that narcissism compensates for parental coldness—wasn’t supported. Overvaluation, not coldness, predicted narcissistic development.
Narcissism measurable by age 7-8. The study tracked children from ages 7-12, finding narcissistic traits already measurable in early elementary school and influenced by parenting during this period.
Why This Matters for Survivors
Understanding narcissism’s origins. If you’re trying to understand a narcissist in your life, this research suggests their grandiosity may have been installed by parents who genuinely believed (and communicated) their child’s superiority. They weren’t necessarily neglected—they may have been overvalued.
Different pathway than expected. The intuitive assumption is that narcissists developed grandiosity to compensate for missing love. This research suggests another pathway: consistent messages of superiority that the child internalized. Understanding this helps explain narcissists who did have attentive (even doting) parents.
Implications for your own parenting. If you’re raising children after experiencing narcissistic abuse, this research offers guidance: warmth and acceptance build self-esteem without narcissism. The goal is children who feel lovable, not children who feel superior.
Narcissism as learned, not inevitable. Understanding narcissism as learned (through overvaluation) rather than innate suggests possibilities for both prevention and, potentially, modification. What was learned might be unlearned, though this is difficult with entrenched patterns.
Clinical Implications
Assess family-of-origin patterns. When evaluating narcissistic patients, assess for parental overvaluation as well as neglect. Different developmental pathways may require different treatment approaches.
Psychoeducation for parents. Parents of young children can be educated about the distinction between warmth (beneficial) and overvaluation (potentially harmful). Loving your child without communicating their superiority supports healthy development.
Distinguish self-esteem work from narcissism. Treatment aimed at building self-esteem should focus on self-acceptance, not specialness. The goal is feeling good about oneself, not feeling superior to others.
Consider the “golden child” dynamic. In narcissistic family systems, the “golden child” receives overvaluation. This research suggests such children may develop narcissistic traits themselves, perpetuating intergenerational patterns.
How This Research Is Used in the Book
Brummelman’s research appears in chapters on narcissism’s developmental origins:
“Landmark longitudinal research resolved a long-standing debate: narcissism develops not from emotional neglect but from parental overvaluation—consistent messages that the child is more special, more entitled, more deserving than others. Children learn grandiosity because parents teach it.”
Historical Context
Published in 2015 in Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, this study represented a rigorous empirical test of competing developmental theories. Psychoanalytic traditions had emphasized compensatory grandiosity developing from emotional deprivation. Social learning theory suggested children learn narcissism through parental modeling and reinforcement.
The longitudinal design, large sample, and use of multiple informants provided strong evidence for the social learning pathway. The findings have influenced both academic understanding of narcissism’s development and practical guidance for parents.
Further Reading
- Brummelman, E., Thomaes, S., & Sedikides, C. (2016). Separating narcissism from self-esteem. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 25(1), 8-13.
- Twenge, J.M., & Campbell, W.K. (2009). The Narcissism Epidemic: Living in the Age of Entitlement. Atria Books.
- Kohut, H. (1977). The Restoration of the Self. International Universities Press.
- Thomaes, S., et al. (2013). Narcissistic adolescents’ attention-seeking following social rejection. Psychological Science, 24(9), 1798-1806.
About the Author
Eddie Brummelman, PhD is a developmental psychologist at the University of Amsterdam specializing in child development, narcissism, and self-esteem. His research examines how parenting shapes children's self-views.
This study, published in the prestigious *Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences*, represented a rigorous test of competing theories about narcissism's origins using longitudinal data and validated measures. The sample size (565 children), multiple time points (four assessments over 18 months), and inclusion of both parent and child reports provided robust evidence.
Historical Context
Published in 2015, this study addressed a longstanding theoretical debate. Psychoanalytic traditions (particularly Kohut) suggested narcissism develops from parental coldness—the child creates a grandiose self to compensate for missing mirroring. Social learning theory suggested narcissism develops from overvaluation—children learn they're special because parents tell them so. This study supported social learning: overvaluation, not coldness, predicted narcissism.
Frequently Asked Questions
Parental overvaluation means parents believe their child is more special, more entitled, and more capable than other children—and communicate this belief to the child. Overvaluing parents agree with statements like 'My child is more special than other children' and 'My child deserves something extra in life.' The child learns to see themselves as superior.
Warmth is unconditional positive regard—loving and accepting the child for who they are. Overvaluation is communicating superiority—the child is better than other children and deserves more. Warmth says 'You are lovable.' Overvaluation says 'You are superior.' The study found these are distinct: warmth predicted self-esteem; overvaluation predicted narcissism.
This study found overvaluation, not coldness, predicted narcissism. But other pathways may exist. Some narcissism may develop from emotional neglect (compensatory grandiosity). The research suggests overvaluation is a significant pathway, not that it's the only one. Different subtypes of narcissism may have different developmental origins.
The research suggests: provide warmth and acceptance (builds self-esteem without narcissism), but don't communicate that your child is superior to other children or entitled to special treatment. Appreciate your child without inflating their specialness. Value effort and growth rather than innate superiority.
Self-esteem is feeling good about yourself—'I'm a worthwhile person.' Narcissism is feeling superior to others—'I'm better than other people.' The study showed warmth builds self-esteem (positive self-view) while overvaluation builds narcissism (inflated self-view relative to others). Healthy self-esteem doesn't require believing you're special.
This study found narcissistic traits measurable by age 7-8 and influenced by parental overvaluation during these years. Narcissism appears to develop during middle childhood as children form self-concepts and social comparisons. Early intervention (changing parenting patterns) might prevent entrenchment.
This study used Dutch samples. Some evidence suggests overvaluation effects may be stronger in individualistic cultures that emphasize standing out, though the basic mechanisms likely apply across cultures. Cross-cultural replication is ongoing.
Many children are told they're special without becoming narcissistic. The key is consistent overvaluation that communicates superiority and entitlement. Occasional praise is different from a pervasive message that you're better than others and deserve more. And awareness of these patterns supports changing them.