APA Citation
Flores, P. (2004). Addiction as an Attachment Disorder. Jason Aronson.
Summary
Psychologist Philip Flores presents addiction not as a failure of willpower or purely neurochemical disease, but as a disorder of attachment. People with insecure attachment histories—often from childhood neglect or trauma—may use substances or behaviors to regulate emotions they cannot regulate through relationships. Addiction provides the chemical equivalent of what secure attachment provides naturally: soothing, stimulation, or numbing of overwhelming affect. Treatment must address underlying attachment deficits, not just the addictive behavior.
Why This Matters for Survivors
If you struggle with addiction—or the narcissist in your life did—this framework explains the connection to early relationships. Children of narcissistic parents often develop insecure attachment; lacking the emotional regulation that secure attachment provides, they may seek substances or behaviors to fill that gap. Understanding addiction as attachment disorder connects your early experiences with narcissistic parents to later struggles with substances or compulsive behaviors.
What This Research Establishes
Addiction serves an attachment function. Substances and addictive behaviors provide what secure attachment would naturally give—emotional regulation, soothing of distress, management of overwhelming affect.
Insecure attachment creates vulnerability. People who didn’t develop secure attachment in childhood—often due to neglect, trauma, or narcissistic parenting—lack relational capacity for emotional regulation and may turn to substances.
Treatment must address attachment. Stopping substance use without building relational capacity for regulation leaves the person without either means of managing overwhelming feelings. Recovery requires new attachment experiences.
Brain disease and attachment models are complementary. Addiction involves real brain changes, but these changes serve a function—replacing what secure attachment would provide. Understanding the function guides treatment.
Why This Matters for Survivors
Connection between upbringing and addiction. If you grew up with narcissistic parents and struggle with addiction, there’s a direct connection. The insecure attachment narcissistic parenting creates leaves you without relational means of emotional regulation.
Understanding the function. Your addiction wasn’t moral failure—it was attempting to regulate overwhelming feelings you never learned to manage through relationships. The substance did what secure attachment would have done.
Explaining relationship patterns. You may form addictive attachments to narcissistic partners, seeking regulation through the relationship. The neurochemistry of narcissistic relationships—intermittent reinforcement, emotional intensity—can function like addiction.
Recovery path. True recovery involves not just stopping substances but building secure relational connections. This may include therapy, support groups, and healthy relationships that provide corrective attachment experiences.
Clinical Implications
Assess attachment history. Addiction treatment should include attachment assessment. Understanding the relational deficit driving the addiction guides treatment.
Build relational capacity. Treatment must develop ability to regulate through relationships, not just stop substance use. Group therapy, sponsor relationships, and therapeutic alliance are crucial.
Expect relapse without attachment work. If treatment addresses only the substance, relapse is likely—the person returns without either the substance or alternative regulation. Address the underlying attachment function.
Connect trauma and addiction treatment. Patients with trauma histories—including from narcissistic upbringing—need integrated treatment addressing both trauma and addiction, understanding their connection.
How This Work Is Used in the Book
Flores’s attachment model appears in chapters on developmental impact and recovery:
“Philip Flores explains why children of narcissists often struggle with addiction: secure attachment provides emotional regulation—the ability to soothe distress through relationship. Narcissistic parents don’t provide this consistently; their children never learn to regulate emotions relationally. Later, substances fill the gap, providing chemically what attachment would naturally give. If you struggle with addiction and had narcissistic parents, there’s a direct line: you’re trying to regulate feelings you were never taught to manage through relationships. True recovery involves building what was missing—secure relational connections that can finally provide what the substance tried to replace.”
Historical Context
Published in 2004, this book integrated emerging attachment research with addiction treatment. Flores challenged purely neurochemical models of addiction, arguing that understanding why addiction occurs—what function it serves—is essential for effective treatment.
The book has been influential in connecting attachment theory to addiction treatment, encouraging approaches that address relational deficits alongside neurochemical ones. Its framework particularly resonates with patients whose addiction connects to early relational trauma.
Further Reading
- Maté, G. (2008). In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction. Knopf.
- Flores, P.J. (2007). Group Psychotherapy with Addicted Populations. Haworth Press.
- Schore, A.N. (2003). Affect Dysregulation and Disorders of the Self. Norton.
- Wallin, D.J. (2007). Attachment in Psychotherapy. Guilford Press.
About the Author
Philip J. Flores, PhD, ABPP is a clinical psychologist specializing in addiction treatment and group therapy. He integrates attachment theory into addiction treatment, arguing that recovery requires addressing relational deficits, not just stopping substance use.
Flores's work has been influential in connecting attachment research to addiction treatment.
Historical Context
Published in 2004, this book appeared as neuroscience was revealing addiction's brain mechanisms while attachment research was documenting early relational effects on emotional regulation. Flores bridged these fields, arguing that addiction's neurochemistry serves a function—replacing what secure attachment would naturally provide—and treatment must address this underlying purpose.
Frequently Asked Questions
Secure attachment provides emotional regulation—the ability to soothe distress, tolerate frustration, and manage overwhelming feelings through relationship. Without this, people may use substances or behaviors to chemically produce what attachment would naturally provide.
Children who experience neglect, abuse, or narcissistic parenting often develop insecure attachment. They don't learn to regulate emotions through relationships because their caregivers didn't provide this consistently. Later, substances may fill this regulatory gap.
Narcissistic parents often fail to attune to children's emotional needs, creating insecure attachment. Without the emotional regulation secure attachment provides, these children—later as adults—may turn to substances for affect regulation.
Yes, addiction involves brain changes—but these changes serve a function. Addiction hijacks reward and regulation systems to provide what secure attachment would naturally give: soothing, stimulation, or numbing. The brain disease model and attachment model are complementary.
Treatment must address underlying attachment deficits, not just the addictive behavior. This means building capacity for emotional regulation through relationships—often through group therapy, sponsor relationships, and corrective attachment experiences in treatment.
If treatment only addresses the substance without building relational capacity for regulation, the person returns to life without either the substance or an alternative means of managing overwhelming feelings. Recovery requires new attachment relationships.
People with insecure attachment—often from narcissistic upbringing—may form addictive attachments to narcissistic partners, using the relationship for regulation. The intermittent reinforcement of narcissistic relationships can create addiction-like neurochemistry.
Yes. Genuine recovery involves not just stopping substances but building secure relational connections. Support groups, therapy, and healthy relationships can provide corrective attachment experiences that address the underlying deficit.