van der Kolk, B. (2014) | References | Narcissus and the Child

What This Research Found

Bessel van der Kolk's The Body Keeps the Score represents three decades of clinical research distilled into a comprehensive framework for understanding trauma. The book has sold over 6 million copies worldwide and fundamentally transformed how clinicians, survivors, and the general public understand what trauma does to the human organism and what healing requires.

Trauma is physiological, not just psychological. Van der Kolk's central insight is that trauma does not merely create painful memories or distorted thinking—it fundamentally alters the brain's alarm systems and the body's stress responses. The amygdala, the brain's threat detector, becomes hyperreactive, firing at stimuli that resemble the original trauma. The hippocampus, responsible for contextualising memories in time, is impaired by chronic stress hormones, leaving traumatic memories without temporal tags—experienced as happening now rather than then. The prefrontal cortex, responsible for executive function and emotional regulation, loses the ability to modulate the alarm system's responses. The result: survivors cannot simply "think their way" out of trauma because trauma was encoded before and below conscious thought.

Chronic stress fundamentally reshapes the developing brain. For children raised in environments of chronic threat—including narcissistic family systems—the effects are developmental, not just experiential. The stress hormone cortisol, adaptive in acute emergencies, becomes neurotoxic when chronically elevated. Van der Kolk documents how childhood adversity affects brain volume, neural connectivity, and the development of regulatory systems. Children raised in chronic unpredictable threat develop nervous systems calibrated for danger, hypervigilant and reactive even when the environment becomes safe. These are not character flaws but architectural consequences of growing up when the people who should have provided safety were the source of threat.

The body stores what the mind cannot process. Van der Kolk builds on Pierre Janet's century-old insight that trauma overwhelms the psyche's integrative capacity. What cannot be processed and integrated becomes frozen in the body: chronic muscle tension, held breath, collapsed posture, dissociative numbness. Survivors of narcissistic abuse often develop somatic symptoms—chronic pain, gastrointestinal problems, autoimmune conditions—that represent the body "keeping score" of what was never fully processed. The book documents the connection between childhood adversity and later physical illness, validating what many survivors intuit: their bodies carry the burden of what happened.

Healing requires approaches that address the body directly. Perhaps van der Kolk's most important contribution is demonstrating that effective trauma treatment must go beyond talk therapy to approaches that engage the body and nervous system. He presents research on EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing), which helps the brain reprocess traumatic memories; somatic experiencing, which helps discharge trapped trauma responses; yoga, which restores interoception and the sense of inhabiting one's body; neurofeedback, which directly trains brain patterns; and theatrical and movement-based interventions that help restore agency and social engagement. The common thread: healing requires experiences that the body can register, not just insights the mind can articulate.

How This Research Is Used in the Book

Van der Kolk's work appears throughout Narcissus and the Child as foundational framework for understanding how narcissistic abuse affects children and why healing requires more than cognitive insight. The book is cited in nine chapters, establishing it as one of the most frequently referenced works.

In Chapter 12: The Unseen Child, van der Kolk's concept of "the body keeping score" explains the physical toll of hypervigilance in children of narcissists:

"This vigilance costs everything. The child's nervous system remains chronically activated, preparing for emotional danger. Cortisol floods the developing brain. What Van der Kolk calls 'the body that keeps the score' accumulates: anxiety disorders, panic attacks, fibromyalgia, irritable bowel syndrome—conditions rooted in a nervous system that learned the world was perpetually unsafe because the one person who should have seen the child never did."

In Chapter 6: Diamorphic Agency, the book uses van der Kolk's research to explain why trauma memories feel present rather than past:

"Trauma disrupts this binding and under extreme stress hippocampal function is suppressed while the Alarm Bell (amygdala) is hyperactivated. The emotional and sensory intensity of the experience is encoded, of course. But the situational grounding—the when and where—is not. The result is memory without temporal tags: experiences that return not as recollections but as re-livings."

In Chapter 11: Neurological Contagion, van der Kolk provides the framework for understanding chronic stress in narcissistic relationships:

"Living with a narcissist means living with chronic, unpredictable threat. The rage that erupts without warning. The criticism that can emerge from any direction. The shifting standards that ensure you are always failing at something. The gaslighting that makes you doubt whether the threat is real even as your body screams that it is."

In Chapter 21: Breaking the Spell, van der Kolk's work grounds the discussion of somatic approaches to healing:

"Traditional talk therapy, while valuable, often proves insufficient for the deep rewiring narcissistic abuse requires. Trauma lives not just in thoughts and emotions but in the body—chronic muscle tension from years of hypervigilance, collapsed posture of perpetual shame, shallow breathing of someone always braced for attack. The body keeps the score: trauma lodges in muscles, fascia, and nervous system, and healing must address that somatic level."

The book also draws on van der Kolk's research to explain gaslighting's neurobiological impact (Chapter 12), the development of Complex PTSD (Chapter 4), somatisation of psychological distress (Chapter 16), and the importance of psychiatric support during recovery (Chapter 19).

Why This Matters for Survivors

If you were raised by or in relationship with a narcissist, van der Kolk's research validates experiences that may have been dismissed, denied, or pathologised.

Your body's responses are not weaknesses—they are adaptations. The hypervigilance that keeps you scanning every room for exits, the startle response that fires at footsteps approaching, the chronic tension you cannot release, the dissociation that pulls you away from overwhelming moments—these are not character flaws. They are the predictable responses of a nervous system that learned to survive chronic, unpredictable threat. Van der Kolk's research shows that these responses have biological substrates: heightened amygdala reactivity, impaired prefrontal regulation, elevated baseline cortisol. Your body did exactly what it was designed to do—adapt to the environment you were in. The tragedy is not that you adapted; it's that the environment required such extreme adaptation.

You are not "making it up" or "being dramatic." Gaslighting teaches survivors to doubt their own perceptions, including their perception of harm. Van der Kolk's neuroscience provides external validation: trauma changes the brain in measurable, documentable ways. Neuroimaging shows altered structure and function. Physiological measures show dysregulated stress systems. The somatic symptoms—the chronic pain, the digestive issues, the autoimmune conditions—are real. Your body has been keeping score, and the evidence is etched in your biology. This research says: what happened to you was real, it affected you deeply, and your symptoms are the body's truthful accounting of what you survived.

Healing requires more than understanding. If you've tried talk therapy and found it helpful but incomplete, van der Kolk's research explains why. Insight reaches the prefrontal cortex; trauma lives in the amygdala, the brainstem, the body. You can understand perfectly why you react the way you do and still be unable to stop the reactions. This is not failure—it's the architecture of trauma. Healing requires approaches that speak to the body: somatic experiencing that helps discharge frozen trauma responses, EMDR that reprocesses memories at a pre-verbal level, yoga that restores the sense of inhabiting your own body, and above all, safe relationships that provide the regulatory experiences your nervous system needs to learn that safety is possible.

Your nervous system can learn safety, even now. This is van der Kolk's message of hope: neuroplasticity continues throughout life. The brain that learned danger can learn safety. The body that braced for impact can learn to relax. The alarm system that fires at everything can be recalibrated. This doesn't happen through willpower or positive thinking—it happens through experiences. Safe relationships. Body-based practices. Therapies that work with the nervous system directly. The process is slower in adulthood than it would have been in childhood, and it requires intention and support. But the research is clear: your body can learn new patterns. The score can be rewritten.

Clinical Implications

For psychiatrists, psychologists, and trauma-informed healthcare providers, van der Kolk's framework has direct implications for assessment and treatment of survivors of narcissistic abuse.

Assessment must include trauma history and somatic presentation. Many survivors present with symptoms that appear to be discrete psychiatric conditions—depression, anxiety, panic disorder, ADHD, chronic pain syndromes—without the underlying developmental trauma being identified. Van der Kolk advocates for routine trauma history assessment, including childhood adversity and attachment disruption. For survivors of narcissistic abuse, assess specifically for Complex PTSD symptom clusters: affect dysregulation, negative self-concept, interpersonal difficulties—not just standard PTSD criteria. Somatic symptoms without clear medical explanation should prompt exploration of trauma history; the body may be expressing what has not been psychologically processed.

Stabilisation must precede trauma processing. Van der Kolk emphasises that survivors must first develop regulatory capacity before confronting traumatic material. For survivors of narcissistic abuse—often characterised by chronic developmental trauma rather than discrete traumatic events—this stabilisation phase may be extensive. It involves developing affect regulation skills, establishing a sense of safety in the body, and building the therapeutic alliance that provides a secure base. Rushing to trauma processing with a dysregulated client risks retraumatisation and therapeutic rupture. The window of tolerance must expand before the deepest work can proceed.

Treatment must address the body, not just cognition. Van der Kolk's research demonstrates that trauma-informed treatment must include body-based approaches. This doesn't mean abandoning talk therapy—cognitive processing remains valuable—but supplementing it with interventions that engage the nervous system directly. EMDR, somatic experiencing, sensorimotor psychotherapy, trauma-sensitive yoga, and neurofeedback all have research support. Clinicians should consider which approaches fit the client's presentation and preferences. For survivors with significant dissociation, gentle somatic approaches that restore interoception may need to precede intensive trauma processing. The goal is integration: reconnecting the thinking brain with the feeling body.

The therapeutic relationship provides regulatory experiences. For survivors of narcissistic abuse whose primary relationships provided neither safety nor attunement, the therapeutic relationship itself is a mechanism of change. Van der Kolk emphasises that trauma severs the capacity for social engagement; healing requires social experiences that restore it. The attuned, consistent, boundaried presence of the therapist provides the co-regulation that the client's nervous system needs to learn new patterns. This has implications for treatment frequency, continuity of care, and the importance of therapist self-regulation—an anxious or dysregulated therapist cannot provide the regulatory presence the client needs.

Consider pharmacological support for stabilisation. While van der Kolk emphasises that medication cannot heal trauma—only experiences can do that—he acknowledges the role of pharmacotherapy in stabilisation. Many survivors of narcissistic abuse present with severe depression, anxiety, sleep disturbance, or hyperarousal that impedes therapeutic work. Medication can provide sufficient stabilisation for therapy to proceed. Psychiatrists should understand that developing mental health symptoms from chronic abuse is a normal response to an abnormal situation—not evidence of inherent pathology. Medication supports the work; it does not replace it.

Broader Implications

Van der Kolk's research extends beyond individual treatment to illuminate patterns across families, institutions, and society.

The Intergenerational Transmission of Trauma

Narcissistic parents almost invariably have their own trauma histories. Van der Kolk's framework explains the mechanism of intergenerational transmission: the parent's dysregulated nervous system cannot provide the attunement and co-regulation that healthy development requires. The parent's unprocessed trauma leaks into their parenting through emotional volatility, dissociative absence, hypercontrol, or emotional unavailability. Children raised by parents whose bodies never learned safety grow up with bodies that never learn safety, perpetuating the cycle. Intervention at any generation—healing the parent's trauma, protecting the child, providing alternative attachment figures—can potentially break this chain.

Relationship Patterns in Adulthood

Adults whose nervous systems were shaped by narcissistic abuse often find themselves in relationships that replicate familiar dynamics. Van der Kolk's research helps explain why: the body seeks what is familiar, even when familiar means dangerous. The intermittent reinforcement of narcissistic relationships—unpredictable alternations between affection and cruelty—creates neurochemical patterns that stable, consistent relationships cannot replicate. The survivor may feel more "alive" in chaotic relationships, may mistake anxiety for attraction, may experience boredom or suspicion in genuinely safe relationships. Understanding these patterns as bodily adaptations rather than character flaws helps survivors make different choices.

Workplace and Organisational Dynamics

Survivors of developmental trauma often struggle in workplace environments that trigger early relational patterns. Van der Kolk's framework explains the mechanism: the body does not distinguish between the narcissistic parent and the critical supervisor, the childhood shaming and the performance review. Hierarchical workplaces with unpredictable leadership, public criticism, or chronic uncertainty keep trauma survivors' nervous systems activated. Organisations that understand this can design management practices—clear expectations, private feedback, predictable processes—that support rather than retraumatise a significant portion of their workforce.

Educational Reform

Schools interact with children during critical developmental windows. Van der Kolk's research suggests that educational environments should prioritise emotional safety and relational attunement alongside academic content. Punitive discipline—detention, suspension, public shaming—retraumatises already-traumatised children. Trauma-informed educational practices recognise that dysregulated behaviour reflects dysregulated nervous systems, not bad character. When educators understand that the defiant child is triggered, not choosing to misbehave, they can respond with regulation support rather than punishment. This shift has implications for discipline policy, classroom management training, and the design of educational environments.

Healthcare System Design

Van der Kolk's documentation of the link between childhood adversity and later physical illness has implications for healthcare delivery. Medical providers seeing patients with chronic pain, autoimmune conditions, or medically unexplained symptoms should consider trauma history as part of assessment. Healthcare settings themselves can be triggering—loss of control, power differentials, invasive procedures—requiring trauma-informed approaches to medical care. Integration of mental health services with primary care may better serve the population whose physical symptoms have psychological roots.

Public Health Framework

Viewing trauma through van der Kolk's lens reframes childhood adversity from an individual misfortune to a population-level public health crisis. The adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) research shows that childhood trauma predicts adult health outcomes across nearly every domain. Van der Kolk's work explains the mechanism: chronic stress during development reshapes the brain and body in ways that create vulnerability to mental illness, physical disease, and early death. Prevention—supporting parents, reducing family stress, early intervention for at-risk children—may be among the highest-return public health investments possible. The societal cost of failing to address childhood trauma is measured in healthcare spending, disability, lost productivity, and shortened lives.

Limitations and Considerations

Van der Kolk's influential work has limitations that warrant acknowledgment.

Individual variation in trauma response. Not all survivors of similar adverse experiences develop the same symptoms or require the same treatments. Genetic factors, temperament, the presence of protective factors, and the specific nature and timing of adverse experiences all influence outcomes. Van der Kolk's framework describes common patterns, but clinical application must be individualised.

Research base for some treatments is still developing. While EMDR has extensive research support, some body-based treatments van der Kolk advocates (neurofeedback, theatrical approaches) have smaller evidence bases. Clinicians should be transparent about the state of the evidence while remaining open to approaches that may help individual clients.

Cultural considerations require adaptation. Van der Kolk's research emerged primarily from Western clinical populations. How trauma manifests, is expressed, and is healed varies across cultures. Body-based approaches may be more or less acceptable in different cultural contexts. Concepts of self, relationship, and healing differ cross-culturally, requiring adaptation of trauma treatment models.

Accessibility of recommended treatments. The intensive, multi-modal treatment approach van der Kolk describes—combining multiple therapeutic modalities, often with prolonged duration—is beyond the reach of many survivors due to cost, availability, and time constraints. The gap between evidence-based treatment and real-world access remains substantial.

Historical Context

The Body Keeps the Score appeared in 2014, synthesising over three decades of van der Kolk's research and clinical experience. Van der Kolk began working with Vietnam veterans at the VA in the 1970s, contributing to the development of PTSD as a diagnostic category. He witnessed firsthand how trauma that occurred years earlier could remain alive in the body, triggering flashbacks, nightmares, and physiological reactivity decades later.

Through the 1980s and 1990s, van der Kolk expanded his focus to developmental trauma—the effects of chronic childhood adversity on brain development and personality formation. He collaborated with researchers in neuroscience, attachment theory, and body-based therapies, integrating disparate fields into a coherent framework. He led efforts to establish Developmental Trauma Disorder as a diagnosis, arguing that the effects of chronic childhood trauma differed qualitatively from adult-onset PTSD and required distinct recognition.

The book built on earlier works including van der Kolk's edited volumes on psychological trauma and his numerous research papers, but made complex neuroscience accessible to a general audience. Its publication coincided with growing cultural awareness of trauma—the #MeToo movement, increased attention to adverse childhood experiences, and mainstreaming of trauma-informed approaches. The book became a publishing phenomenon, remaining on bestseller lists for years and reaching audiences far beyond the clinical community.

The Body Keeps the Score has been cited over 15,000 times in academic literature and influenced clinical practice, public policy, and popular understanding of trauma. Van der Kolk's central insight—that trauma must be addressed in the body, not just the mind—has become foundational to contemporary trauma treatment.

The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma

APA Citation