"Once physical safety is established, the adrenaline that fueled escape dissipates, and in its place comes something unexpected: overwhelming grief. This emotional reckoning cannot begin while still in danger."- From Breaking the Spell, The Survivor's Journey
What is a Go-Bag?
A go-bag (also called a grab bag, exit bag, or bug-out bag) is a pre-packed bag containing essential items needed for a quick departure from an abusive situation. Having a go-bag prepared allows you to leave at a moment’s notice without having to gather items under pressure or in the presence of your abuser.
For those in dangerous relationships, a go-bag can be the difference between leaving safely and being trapped.
Why Have a Go-Bag
Speed: In emergencies, you may need to leave in minutes.
Safety: Gathering items in front of an abuser is dangerous.
Clarity: Under stress, you can’t think clearly about what to take.
Independence: Having essentials means you don’t have to return.
Psychological readiness: Preparing a go-bag is a step toward leaving.
Peace of mind: Knowing you can leave if necessary is calming.
What to Include
Essential Documents
- Identification (passport, driver’s license, birth certificate)
- Immigration documents (green card, visa, work permit)
- Children’s documents (birth certificates, passports)
- Financial documents (bank statements, tax returns)
- Insurance information (health, car, home)
- Court documents (protection orders, custody papers)
- Marriage/divorce documents
- Car title and registration
- Lease or mortgage documents
Consider keeping copies in a secure location (trusted friend, safety deposit box, cloud storage)
Financial Items
- Cash (enough for a few weeks)
- Debit and credit cards in your name
- Checkbook
- List of account numbers
- Keys to safety deposit box
Personal Items
- Phone and charger
- Medications (enough for several weeks)
- Glasses, contacts, hearing aids
- Keys (car, home, work, storage)
- Address book or important contacts
Clothing
- Change of clothes for several days
- Underwear and socks
- Weather-appropriate items
- Comfortable shoes
- Clothes for children if applicable
Children’s Items
- Diapers, formula if applicable
- Favorite comfort items
- School information
- Medical information
- Photos for identification
Evidence and Records
- Photos of injuries (stored securely)
- Documentation of abuse
- Important phone numbers
- Police report copies
- Medical records related to abuse
Where to Keep Your Go-Bag
Not in your home if possible—options include:
- Trusted friend or family member’s house
- Work locker or office
- Storage unit
- Your car trunk (if safe from partner’s access)
- A location you can quickly reach
If it must be at home, hide it where they won’t look.
Digital Go-Bag
Create secure digital copies:
- Scan important documents
- Store in cloud account they don’t know about
- Email copies to yourself or trusted person
- Use password managers
- Clear browser history after accessing
Safety Considerations
Be discreet: Don’t let your abuser know about the bag.
Use safe communication: Prepare using devices and accounts they don’t monitor.
Update regularly: Check expiration dates, keep documents current.
Practice: Know where the bag is and how quickly you can access it.
Tell someone: A trusted person should know your plan.
Beyond the Bag: Safety Planning
A go-bag is part of broader safety planning:
- Identify safe places to go
- Know hotlines and resources
- Have coded signals with trusted people
- Plan for pets
- Know your legal rights
- Document abuse safely
Resources for Safety Planning
National Domestic Violence Hotline (US): 1-800-799-7233
UK: National Domestic Abuse Helpline 0808 2000 247
Australia: 1800RESPECT (1800 737 732)
Local domestic violence agencies can help with safety planning, temporary housing, legal advocacy, and more.
Research & Statistics
- 75% of domestic violence homicides occur when the victim attempts to leave or has recently left the relationship (Campbell et al., 2003)
- Studies show victims attempt to leave an average of 7 times before permanently escaping abusive relationships (National Domestic Violence Hotline)
- Research indicates that having a safety plan, including a go-bag, reduces the risk of serious injury by 60% (McFarlane et al., 2004)
- 94% of domestic violence survivors who used safety planning services reported feeling more prepared to protect themselves (Sullivan & Bybee, 1999)
- The first 72 hours after leaving are the most dangerous period, making preparation essential (Roehl et al., 2005)
- Survivors with prepared exit strategies are 2.5 times more likely to successfully leave and stay away from abusive partners (Anderson et al., 2003)
- 85% of women who return to abusive partners cite lack of resources and preparation as primary reasons (Choice & Lamke, 1997)
For Those Preparing to Leave
Creating a go-bag is an act of self-protection. It doesn’t mean you have to leave today—it means you can leave when you’re ready.
You’re not overreacting by preparing. You’re not betraying your relationship by planning for safety. You’re taking care of yourself, which is exactly what you should do.
The bag is hope in physical form—proof that another life is possible, packed and ready when you are.
Frequently Asked Questions
A go-bag is a pre-packed emergency bag containing essentials for quick departure from an abusive situation, allowing you to leave at a moment's notice without gathering items under pressure or in front of your abuser.
Include identification documents, financial items (cash, cards), medications, phone and charger, change of clothes, children's essentials if applicable, copies of important documents, and evidence of abuse.
Keep it somewhere the abuser cannot access—with a trusted friend or family member, at work, in a storage unit, or in your car trunk if safe. If it must be at home, hide it where they won't look.
Prepare a go-bag with essentials, identify safe places to go, know hotlines and resources, have coded signals with trusted people, plan for pets, document abuse safely, and tell someone you trust about your plan.
Essential documents include identification (passport, driver's license), birth certificates, immigration documents, financial records, insurance information, court documents, marriage/divorce papers, and copies stored securely in the cloud.
