"There is a particular relief in being understood without having to explain. Support groups offer what few other spaces can: a room full of people who get it because they've lived it. You don't have to convince anyone it was that bad. You don't have to defend yourself for staying. You're among people who know—because they know it too."
What Are Support Groups?
Support groups are gatherings of people with shared experiences who come together for mutual support, understanding, and healing. For abuse survivors, these groups provide a space to share your story, hear others’, and connect with people who understand because they’ve lived it.
Support groups are not therapy (though they may be therapeutic) and don’t replace professional help. They serve a different function: the peer connection and validation that comes from shared experience.
Why Support Groups Help
Breaking Isolation
Abuse creates isolation:
- You may have been cut off from others
- You may feel too ashamed to share
- You may believe no one understands
- Support groups end that aloneness
Validation Without Explanation
In support groups:
- You don’t have to convince anyone it was bad
- Others understand without lengthy explanation
- Your experience is believed
- Reactions are normalized
Seeing You’re Not Alone
Hearing others’ stories shows:
- You’re not the only one
- Your reactions are normal
- Others have survived similar things
- What you experienced has a name
Learning from Peers
Others offer:
- Practical coping strategies
- What’s helped them
- What to expect in recovery
- Wisdom from experience
Models of Recovery
Seeing others further along shows:
- Recovery is possible
- People do get better
- There is life after abuse
- Hope becomes tangible
Being Helpful to Others
As you heal, you can:
- Support newer members
- Share what you’ve learned
- Find meaning in helping
- Strengthen your own recovery by helping others
Types of Support Groups
Facilitated Groups
Led by professionals:
- Therapist-led groups
- Structured curriculum
- Professional guidance
- Often through mental health centers
Peer-Led Groups
Led by survivors:
- Shared leadership
- Experiential wisdom
- Often free or low-cost
- May be through advocacy organizations
12-Step Programs
Using recovery principles:
- CoDA (Codependents Anonymous)
- Al-Anon (for family of addicts—often relevant)
- Structured format
- Available widely
Online Communities
Internet-based support:
- Forums (Reddit, dedicated websites)
- Facebook groups
- Video-based groups
- Accessible anywhere
In-Person Groups
Face-to-face meetings:
- Local domestic violence organizations
- Mental health centers
- Community centers
- Religious organizations
Finding a Support Group
Where to Look
- Domestic violence organizations
- Mental health centers
- Therapist referrals
- Online searches for “narcissistic abuse support group”
- CoDA or other 12-step programs
- Hospital-based support groups
What to Look For
- Focus on your type of experience
- Qualified facilitation (if professional)
- Safety guidelines
- Confidentiality policies
- Respectful culture
- Manageable size
Online Resources
- Reddit: r/NarcissisticAbuse, r/raisedbynarcissists
- Facebook groups (search for abuse recovery)
- Dedicated forums
- Video-based support groups
What Happens in Support Groups
Typical Format
- Check-ins or introductions
- Sharing (optional usually)
- Listening and supporting
- Sometimes educational content
- Resources and coping strategies
- Closing
Ground Rules (Usually)
- Confidentiality
- Respect for all members
- No advice-giving without permission
- No cross-talk (interrupting)
- Supportive responses
- Safety of all members
Your Role
You can:
- Listen without sharing
- Share when ready
- Offer support to others
- Ask questions
- Take what’s useful, leave what isn’t
Getting the Most from Support Groups
Attend Regularly
- Connection builds over time
- Trust develops through consistency
- Progress becomes visible
- Community forms through presence
Share When Ready
- You don’t have to share immediately
- Listening is also valuable
- Share at your pace
- Start with what feels safe
Stay Open
- Others’ experiences may differ
- You can learn from differences
- Not everything will resonate
- Take what helps
Maintain Boundaries
- Share what’s appropriate
- Protect your energy
- Don’t become everyone’s therapist
- Self-care during and after
Combine with Other Healing
Support groups work well alongside:
- Individual therapy
- Self-help resources
- Other healing practices
- Support groups don’t replace professional help when needed
Potential Challenges
Triggering Content
Hearing others’ stories may:
- Trigger your own memories
- Bring up difficult emotions
- This is normal
- Use grounding and self-care
Group Dynamics
Sometimes:
- Personalities may clash
- Someone may dominate
- Not everyone connects
- Try different groups if needed
Quality Varies
Not all groups are equal:
- Facilitation matters
- Safety policies matter
- Some groups are healthier than others
- It’s okay to look for a better fit
Online Limitations
Online groups may have:
- Less intimacy
- Moderation challenges
- Misinformation
- But still offer valuable connection
For Survivors
If you’re considering a support group:
- You don’t have to share your whole story
- Listening is healing too
- You’re not alone—others understand
- It’s okay to try different groups
- The right group can be transformative
Abuse made you feel alone, invisible, crazy. Support groups offer the opposite: connection with people who see you, believe you, and understand you—because they’ve been there too.
There’s something powerful about sitting in a room (physical or virtual) with people who get it. You don’t have to explain why you stayed. You don’t have to justify your reactions. You don’t have to prove anything. You’re among people who know—because they know it too.
You’re not alone. You never were. There are others who understand. Finding them might be one of the most healing things you do.
Frequently Asked Questions
Support groups are gatherings of people with shared experiences of abuse who come together for mutual support. They may be led by professionals or peers, meet in person or online, and focus on sharing experiences, processing emotions, learning coping strategies, and building connections.
Support groups help by: reducing isolation, providing validation from people who understand, normalizing your experiences, offering practical advice from those who've been there, building community, and showing you that recovery is possible through others' examples.
Therapy is led by a professional and focuses on individual treatment. Support groups are peer-based and focus on shared experience and mutual support. Both are valuable; they serve different purposes. Many people benefit from both simultaneously.
Look for: local domestic violence organizations, online communities focused on narcissistic abuse, 12-step programs (like CoDA for codependency), therapy groups at mental health centers, or Facebook/Reddit communities. Start with reputable organizations or therapist referrals.
Most groups don't require sharing—you can listen and observe. Being in the room hearing others' stories is itself healing. Share when you're ready. Many people attend several times before speaking. Your pace is respected.
Online groups offer accessibility, anonymity, and convenience. In-person groups offer physical presence and different connection. Both can be valuable. Many survivors use both. The best group is one you'll actually attend and that feels supportive.
